March 21, 2011

You hate Duke? We know. We just don’t give a damn.

We aim to please our 12 fans here at CDTF, especially eloquent word wizards like Pat, one of my fave people.  As he correctly pointed out, the rabidity of the anti-Duke crowd in Charlotte – comprised primarily of UNC fans – was especially obnoxious and creepy.  But with March Madness in full swing, it is only expected that the irrational Duke haters will come out in full force.  You know what I say to that? Hate on, Haters.  We don’t give a fuck. But I do feel like all of this Duke hate needs to be properly addressed.  
By now, we have already been saturated with Jalen Rose and his Uncle Tom comments.  Grant Hill is a “little bitch” and all that jazz. Forget that Michigan is just as white and elitist as Duke, or that the Fab Five lost every game that they played against the Blue Devils, or that Jalen Rose apologized to Grant Hill before the documentary aired – there was something particularly disingenuous and spiteful about the whole little bitchfest.  But maybe in the midst of ESPN shoving the envious Fab Five down our throats, you missed last week’s ridiculous column by Terence Moore, entitled “Why we hate Duke.” 

Moore states outright that he hates the Blue Devils.  He compares us to the Yankees and Cowboys, but he says “that this Duke thing goes deeper,” because we carry “a haughty reputation.” He applauds Jalen Rose. He generalizes that if you are black and “if you play or cheer for Duke,” then “you aren’t exactly hugged by a segment of your peers. I’ve seen as much from my friends and relatives forever.” Well, we can’t help it if your friends and relatives are racist forever. But, according to Moore, it is not just a racial thing. He hates us because the “Powers That Be” always let us play the first round in North Carolina.  He concedes that all top seeds get to play close to home, but that “Duke basketball is about perception to its bashers, and the perception is that the Blue Devils get all of the breaks.”  He also hates us because we “get all of the calls” and because Coach K is a “designated saint.” He does not cite statistics or facts. Jay Bilas argues that it would be impossible for a team to get a consistent foul advantage like Moore claims that Duke gets. Moore’s response? “Uh-huh. And the Blue Devils mascot doesn’t carry a pitchfork.” 
I am glad that CNN is the “most trusted name in news.” Besides his over-generalization and exaggeration, the real problem with the piece is that Terence Moore does not explain, in any rational fashion, why Duke is actually hated. He just provides a laundry list of complaints and misperceptions, factually supported or not, that people have against us.  So let me spell it out for all of you Haterz out there.

Why You Hate Duke

You hate us because we are too busy winning to care about you hating us.  You hate us because we are cocky and arrogant and expect to beat you each and every time.  You hate us because we play stifling defense and slap the floor and force turnovers.  You hate us because our stifling defense does not commit fouls and wreaks havoc on your mediocre offense.  That we win so often that ESPN is in talks to change ESPN Classic into ESPN Cameron.  You hate that our fingers are heavy from all of the rings we wear, and you hope that the rafters cave in so the Crazies suffocate under all of the banners.  You hate that most announcers, including Dickie V, love us because we aren’t criminals, we graduate our players, and we win titles.  It is really obnoxious of us, I know. You hate that our coach, a little man with an admittedly rat-like face, happens to know basketball better than Dumbledore knows magic.  You hate that American Express recognizes this and plasters his image all over TV.  It drives you nuts that he doesn’t have to cheat. That we don’t need tutors to write our essays and that, if nothing else, we aren’t stupid enough to tweet about the illegal benefits we receive. You hate that Coach K is so good that our country, America herself, begged him to bring home a gold in the Olympics.  And you know what? You sort of hate that he delivered. 
You hate us so much that you write books about it. You dedicate entire websites and write rap songs about it.  You hate that we sound well-spoken in interviews, and you hate that we don’t have to take the ACT six times. You can’t stand that after we kick your ass on the court for four years, we go on to become NBA stars, ESPN analysts, journalists, and Division I coaches.  You hate that we can take a charge, and you’re just jealous that you can’t flop as well.  It sucks for you that Duke basketball has such rabid fans, that we passionately care about our school and our program, that we show up to make sure everyone knows it. It sucks that we make your fans look pathetic in the process. I pretty much guarantee that your alumni list is longer than ours, so it is just that we all care more. And you hate that. You hate that some of our student body comes from privileged homes, and you assume that we haven’t worked our asses off to become the best of the best.  You are wrong about that, but you are too busy hating to know any better.  It is so unfair that we have state-of-the-art facilities, a history-packed arena that caters towards students, and a camp of Crazies waiting outside. You hate that we are a dominating force on the recruiting trail again, because it comes down to the fact that we are, above all else, winners.  And you hate that I am right.

The truth is, you used to love us.  You loved us when we were the squeaky clean underdogs, led by some unknown and unpronounceable coach, trying to topple the mighty UNLV.  You loved us when we finally did.  You just hate that, since then, we haven’t forgotten how to win.  And you hate that we never will.

We won't apologize for it. So, please, by all means, keep bitching. We recognize that it is difficult to constantly live in the shadow of greatness.



31 comments:

  1. I love how you used the Luther Vandross One Shining Moment instead of that crappy Jennifer Hudson one.

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  2. Thank you JHop for your rant that epitomizes everything we hate about Dook. You count your rings and your top recruits, while we (UNC) constantly replay the Championship moments in our minds. All you care about is measurable success. You have no understanding of the journey and the joy that it brings. You write and gloat about your number of championships but have not a single word to describe the passion and fun of the championship experience. You are a bunch of capitalistic Coach-K clones. You have no personality, no knowledge of the game outside of your ivory castle in Durham. You are arrogant, ignorant, funless assholes. Period.

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  3. Thanks for your comment, Derek.

    Please direct us to all of the UNC blogs dedicated to the "passion and fun of the championship experience." I will bookmark them immediately.

    I love when UNC fans say things like "you have no personality" or "no knowledge of the game," but you never seem to cite evidence or examples. Have you seen the Cameron Crazies? Do you really think that we have "no personality?"

    That said, we can't possibly be "funless," because that isn't a real word.

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  4. Karen Owen sex tapes now available here!

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  5. After searching for 30 seconds, I came across this article describing what seemed to me to be exactly the joy of watching Carolina basketball that Derek describes above:

    http://tarheelblue.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/031111aad.html

    And, perhaps more important:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=funless

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  6. I think the reason people hate Duke is because it is one of the only true academically elite colleges that also has a basketball team that always wins...constantly seeing and hearing about Duke remind ppl of their interaction with people that have attended duke...Duke has some great students...it also has some pompous assholes that are uncultured outside of their northern prep school environ...this reminds duke haters of the inequity that is present in the US...the haves and have nots...it ruins people's viewpoint of the meritocratic bullshit they are told growing up...it isnt racism it is classism coupled with a destruction in American ideals

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  7. Here's why we hate Dook:

    We hate Dook because its fans throw the above article at us while stupidly believing we hate them for being awesome and successful. Can you imagine how much foreigners would REALLY hate America if we voiced the same arrogance? We have reasons for hating Dook, and now we have your article to add to it. But since we're on the topic, let's explore our realm of hate.

    We hate you just as much when you are winning as when you are losing. We cheer for your first round exit from the tournament in a bracket pool that we have picked you to win and have 200 bucks riding. We hate you because we hate American Express's interest rates. We hate you because your school has one or two news-worthy sports programs yet you brag to the world that they're equivalent to Thee Almighty. We hate you because you're ugly and do nothing to fix it. We hate you because you're 8 miles north of Chapel Hill, yet a million miles south of possessing class. We hate you because Jay Bilas loves us more than you. We hate you because Elton Brand also hates you. We hate you because you killed that South American girl when you improperly labeled her blood. We hate you because you come to North Carolina, annoy the hell out of us for four years, then go back to Jersey and write blogs about how awesome you are.

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  8. Saying you "don't give a..." regarding the hatred toward Duke is, well, wrong; you are clearly enjoying it.

    I'd also like to point out, as you did above, JHop, there is some truth behind the stereotypes. Duke alumni have actually told me the following (note: this is from personal experience, and I am using "you" not to refer to JHop personally, but to the Duke students/alumni I know and those like them).

    1. You could not get into an Ivy League School (or the UNC honors program), so Duke was the next best thing.
    2. You are from New Jersey. Yes, really.
    3. Duke girls tend to be significantly less attractive than UNC girls.
    4. You vacation in the Hamptons. Yes, really.
    5. There is no debate as to the racist and horrific nature of the epithets screamed at the stripper of the Duke lacrosse scandal. (And I'd like to mention here that, while perhaps falsely accused, I don't think anyone is proud of the players' undisputed actions that night.)
    6. You can't sit behind the Duke bench with your kids because of Coach K's foul language.
    7. Only freshmen comprise the "Crazies" and go to basketball games.
    8. Your alumni tend not to be loyal to the university, in terms of their fanhood. (And don't bother looking up "fanhood" so you can take a pot shot, JHop. If it's not a word, I just made it one.)

    Yeah, UNC's football players are idiots, but that appears to be a non-sequitur. In conclusion, I'd like to highlight how much JHop's post epitomizes so many of the reasons Duke is hated.

    #goheels

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  9. lets run down the stats, head-to-head 131-101 UNC, National championships 6-4, UNC, ACC reg season champions, 28-19, UNC, Final Fours, 18-15, UNC. Duke in Cameron indoor (the venue this website claims to give such an immense 'home court advantage') over the past 6 years against UNC, 2-4. The only thing Duke has an edge over UNC in is ACC tourny wins (I think its 19-17 or something like that) -- and which who really cares about that?

    Kinda hard to say UNC fans hate you because you're successful and 'always win' against stats like that.

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  10. I think spelling the name of the school incorrectly disqualifies you from any debate, whether it is done "ironically" or not.

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  11. blah blah blah, your comment section has been taken over by a bunch of losers. It must drive them crazy how little duke fans care. your not important the game is and how quickly the peanut gallery forgets that they were quite recently NIT runner-ups. Where did you hang that banner?

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  12. wow, JHop, you sure stirred up a lot of butt-hurt. As a Davidson grad, we get to watch both schools from near, yet afar. The general sense (only amongst friends, not speaking for the entire school) is that UNC seethes with an inferiority complex that brings them out of the woodwork whenever an article/post like this is published. I'll bet this is triple your normal number of comments?

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  13. Loving how all the duke fans are anonymous. Evidently even their own fans hate duke and, as such, are embarrassed to publicly support it.

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  14. Interestingly, probably the most accurate paragraph on this page is the one written by "anonymous." Aside from that post, it appears to be impassioned bluster from both sides. I would just add that both schools have become pretty elite institutions, to the extent that Duke grads from 20 years ago would probably barely get into Carolina in-state these days, and the UNC grads from 20 years ago would be at App. So, to some extent, I think there is a false dichotomy between populism and elitism. The reality is that one school is a bit more selective than the other because of state law. Affordability isn't even a real argument since Duke announced it would be meeting 100 percent of need. So I think UNC is just floating on nostalgia as being an egalitarian wonderland; and Duke probably gets a worse rap than it should because of the relative poverty of Durham vis-a-vis its student body, and their tendency to come from the urban northeast.

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  15. Michael,

    Actually those of you who refuse to remain anonymous by publishing your first names scare the hell out of us. We are cowardly and arrogant, and fear reprisal while you are brave and honorable, challenging us with your full(ish) disclosure. In fact, I am inspired, so, I'm gonna lay it all out there just like you did.

    Signed,
    Jonathan

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  16. Nah I'll put my name out there (Kat) its just I hate being signed in Livejournal it creeps me out how it tracks it back. I know off topic but not embarrassed just practical.

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  17. didn't mean to make the above post Anonymous

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  18. You don't make websites?

    http://www.carolinasucks.com/pn/html/index.php

    http://www.crazie-talk.com/2010/02/04/heel-week-day-one-ten-heels-we-love-to-hate/

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  19. Here's an article from a current (former?) Duke student -- which probably describes no one on this page -- and published in the Duke Chronicle basically calling UNC Duke's daddy.

    http://dukechronicle.com/node/145480

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  20. And another article where an alumna is quoted saying all the things you, jhop, say we complain about.

    http://dukechronicle.com/article/hate

    (Yes, I took the time to find these, go ahead and comment on that, "I don't care." -- It's better than reading for Secured Transactions or Land Use and Zoning Law..)

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  21. I don't understand why all of you UNC people are taking her post so personally. Chill out, have a beer.

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  22. Holy shit! What a mess this post created at Chicks Dig the Fastball. I think Jill covered it all, but it really makes me laugh when supposed college educated UNC fans refer to Duke University as "Dook". Well, I guess it just proves all the points made above. These UNC fans are on the same level with the ten year old kid that lives down the street from me who's Dad went to UNC and he gloats when they beat College of Charleston by 40. Great Blog Jill!

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  23. hmm, I made that post with the links in it as one post and anonymously on accident. Then made the comment about it being 'anonymous' afterwards. Odd that it ended up in three separate posts, with my name on it, and after my 'anonymous' post. hahaha.

    I don't think anyone was taking it too seriously, especially since there's a good chance that at least 1 of the UNC commentators knew the author from law school. -- Jeering and trash talking is what makes the rivalry great, especially when one who 'dishes it out'is equally capable of taking some backfire in good humor.

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  24. WIll [sp?]

    Strange turnaround after a bunch of vitriolic stuff (whether one post or three). Suddenly no one (including you?) was taking it too seriously? And what you were doing was just "jeering and trash talking" and thus making a positive contribution to this "great rivalry?"

    I think you did one hell of a job making Jill's post (and Davidson dude's point) relevant.

    PS - It is a great rivalry, in spite of homers like you from both sides.

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  25. OK WIll, it looked like a case of overkill when it was lots of posts, but if that was some sort of weird spam split to your one post, than it merely looks like a lot of overkill links in a single post. I retract my "Homer" accusation (which I'm certain makes your day).

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  26. http://media.trb.com/media/photo/2009-02/44984333.jpg

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  27. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_i8YmC41u0qE/Re91SIpUX-I/AAAAAAAAAcQ/Kf_ndbBcxwU/s1600-h/Bloody2.jpg

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  28. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Losers.

    http://deadspin.com/#!5784452/duke-alums-are-worried-about-craziness-of-the-young-cameron-crazies

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  29. http://www.gq.com/sports/lists/201104/worst-sports-fans-in-america#slide=8

    Don't worry, there's still time to reach number 1.

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