were arrested on Sunday for being morons. Sophomore Erik Murphy and freshman Cody Larson were drinking their faces off at Scarlett O’Hara’s Bar and pretended to lose a wallet, so they could be near the employee who was counting money for the night. Because they acted like assholes, bouncers kicked them out. A few minutes later, they were found breaking into a car across the street that belonged to one of the bar’s employees. Team manager Josh Adel was charged as the look-out for this brilliant endeavor. Please listen to these fools:
It is hilarious and cringe-worthy all at once. They obviously didn’t know they were being recorded, as Murphy plots to create cover-ups, admits the crime, and “secretly” uses his cell phone. My favorite lines are Josh Adel's, the sober one, who repeatedly (and flatly) rejects the “dumb motherfucker.” For example:
Murphy: You know what we could say. Listen, listen, listen. When we went back in, the dude was being a dickhead to us and was like, 'You gotta leave.' I was looking for my wallet."Adel: Dude, come on man. That is a dumb goddamn idea.
And here is another priceless exchange:
Murphy: We can get them in trouble too for letting us in when we weren't 21.Adel: Dude, don’t even say that shit.Murphy: No, fuck that. I’m pulling everything out.Adel: No, you’re not, because that makes us look like assholes. That we're, that you two are wasted and fucking breaking in cars. That looks fucking dumb.Murphy: Whatever bro. I’m doing it.
You cannot help but feel badly for Adel. He seethes at the dumb jocks he is associated with, fully cognizant of how serious their actions were. He is particularly infuriated because he had already told “y’all to stop doing that.” He also asks, and it broke my heart a little, “Do you understand I'll be fired and I have no chance of ever pursuing any type of career in basketball?" While Murphy promises to help Adel out of the mess he created, Larson (who was still at large) calls six times. Adel finally picks up and then put him on speakerphone, so Larson is also recorded. At first, he refuses to turn himself in, unaware that it is too late and he would be considered a fugitive; Adel eventually convinces him that he doesn’t have a choice. Adel also professes concern because Larson was already on probation. Last May, Larson received a 120-day suspended jail sentence, two years of probation, community service, and mandatory counseling for a drug crime. He sounds like a real winner. Josh Adel, on the other hand, sounds believable, sympathetic, and well, coherent.
Update [10:25 a.m.]: As my friend Scott pointed out, Erik Murphy is, in fact, the older brother of Alex Murphy, a superstar recruit coming to Duke in 2012. That said, I am sure that Erik is just the black sheep of the family...right?