Strike One: What is with Tiger’s speech about feeling great and being ready to win and whatnot? I’m sorry, but the rest of us have been ready for you to win for like over a year now. Thanks for finally coming to the party.
Strike Two: There is no way Randy Moss will stay retired. He is dramatic and arrogant. He probably feels wronged by the contracts he was offered and will bide his time until someone needs him. And he will be back, I promise.
Strike Three: I am not sure if any of you were watching YES before the Yankees game last night, but Kim Jones interviewed Nick Swisher about his new album. Yes, like a singing record with his voice making melodies and noises. I wish I was paying better attention, but I am re-reading all of the Harry Potter books, as I am a ginormous dork and irrationally sentimental that there are not even new movies to look forward to anymore, and I was engrossed in the Chamber of Secrets, and Kim did not have my undivided attention. All I heard was that he sings some old rock songs, some karaoke tunes, and even some country; Bernie Williams wrote a “beautiful” song for it; and he will not use any of his own songs as his at-bat music. He was cracking up throughout the entire interview and I appreciated that he is not taking this seriously. God knows I cannot. I love Nick Swisher, I do, but I am pretty confident that I will not be singing along with him in the shower anytime soon.
Wait, I just found real information about this masterpiece. He will be singing hits such as Heroes, Lean on Me, Where the Green Grass Grows, A Little Help From my Friends, Proud Mary, and Joy to the World. The album is entitled “Believe” and the proceeds go to charity. Nick is joined by an all-star band, Bernie Williams, and…Barry Zito? What the hell? Barry Zito has time to jam in between imploding on the pitching mound? Apparently, yes. I look forward to hearing his voice blaring through someone's iPod headphones on the subway.
And with that, I am out, folks. I need to run and file papers in court before meeting with a client who I think is self-employed as either a drug dealer or a sushi chef. Only time will tell.