So fantasy football kicked off last night. I’m not going to lie: this is not rocking my socks off…yet. At least, not like baseball. In part, this is because I have no fucking idea what I am doing. Give me a CI or MI any day, but a W/T or W/R? What the hell is that? I just don’t know football like I know baseball. I am obviously familiar with the studs and stars, major story lines, team drama, latest arrests for assault or driving under the influence, as well as any sex fetish tape related to the Jets. But I don’t know details. And, in my opinion, to kick ass at fantasy sports, it is all about the details – knowing who is available, who you should target, what your weaknesses are, and how to stay one step ahead of your opponents. I have now mastered this for baseball, but I started with a much stronger foundation of knowledge; football could ultimately be a disaster. I am prepared for it and tempering my sore-loser tendencies.
Last night, when I was stressing over my cluelessness concerning fantasy football, I g-chatted Dylan to ask some questions. Part of our conversation went as follows:
JHop: You only set one roster for the week in fantasy football? Like, once a position is used, it’s gone for the week? I feel like I am missing something here. This seems MUCH more boring than fantasy baseball. I also have no clue what I’m doing, but whateverDylan: I believe that's how it works...You set your lineup for the week, that's thatJHop: Super lameDylan: I mean, most games are all in one day... plus they play 1/9th the games they do in baseball....So it’s like, 1/9th the work...HahaJHop: Sigh, I will not be anywhere near as proficient as I am in baseball. Speaking of which, you have a good lead this week!Dylan: Yesssss. 7-4. And all my guys pitch this weekend. We’ll see what happens next week. I'm looking forward to it... You've been undefeated all along. I'm gonna make the Patriots out of you.JHop: Lololol. You are the David Tyree of fantasy baseball.JHop: Briiiiing it. Although, I will say, I fear your team more than Curley’s.Dylan: Haha good. Fear the Peave.
This was after he graciously explained what those ridiculous W/T and W/R positions are, as if those symbols should make sense to a casual participant. Regardless, I am really going to miss fantasy baseball. I was hoping that football would tie over my obsessive craziness until next April, and it still might, but I have to sit down and figure shit out first. Until then, I will continue to bask in the success of Joe Girardi’s Braces, while simultaneously fearing The Peave. But I will be damned if anyone is going to compare me to the 2008 New England Patriots and live to brag about it. I come from the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, fools. And we are going undefeated, all the way, baby.
A big thanks (and good luck) to The Peave. I hope you all have great weekends, stay safe if you are in New York City or D.C., and please check back on Monday.