Just as a farewell on this gorgeous Friday, I wanted to share another gem from the SI Vault. You're welcome. The original caption read, "A security guard restrains a fan who tried to deliver a rather disconcerting personal message to the King during an exhibition game at Shanghai Stadium in -- where else? -- Shanghai."
First of all, I am really grateful that Sports Illustrated felt that they needed to clarify where Shanghai Stadium is, because, quite frankly, I was confused. It perhaps would have made more sense to say "where else? -- China," but whatever. They don't pay 'em the big bucks over there for nothing. Second of all, there is nothing disconcerting about the personal message other than the fact that the dorky Asian kid is surprisingly witty. The ginormous "J" may have been pushing it, but I will let that slide, simply for his personal drive and ambition. Even with the Chubby security guard, cheek full of tobacco or maybe Big League Chew or perhaps vomit, trying to hold him back, Dorky Asian Kid was on a mission, backpack and all, to deliver his home-made family heirloom to Lebron James. And you know what? I give him major props for that. He even gets bonus points for what looks like an attempt at a hug. If only because of the "what the fuuuuck" look of confusion on The Whore of Akron's face. Listen, we already know that Lebron's mom has been rumored to, um, share her special places with an odd assortment of characters, so who am I to doubt that she didn't bang one of his Chinese teammates back in the day and out popped lil' Dorky Asian Kid James? I heard that he has mad ups and is sort of a self-centered prick, so for all intensive purposes, the resemblance is uncanny.