November 25, 2012

Point by Point: A Fantasy Football Playoff Speech


I know it has been awhile, life has been crazy and all, but I just posted this on my fantasy football league's message board and thought I would share. Out of 14 otherwise male teams, I am in first-place in the midst of Week 12:
 
I don't know what to say really. Two weeks to the biggest playoff battle of our professional lives all comes down to today. Either we heal as teams or we are going to crumble. Inch by inch, fantasy point by fantasy point, til we’re finished.

You are in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And you can stay there and get the shit kicked out of you by a girl or you can fight your way back into the light. You can climb out of hell. One fantasy point at a time.

Now I can’t do it for you. I’m too competitive. I look around and I see these playoff-desperate faces and I think, I mean, I made every right choice a young female manager could make. But I uhh…. pissed away all my trade good will, believe it or not. I traded off any waiver wire pick-up who ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in MJD’s spot on my roster.

You know when you get too competitive in life, things get taken away from you. That’s, that’s part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out that life is just a game of points. So is fantasy football. Because in either game, life or fantasy football, the margin of error is so small. I mean, one yard short or early injury, you don’t quite succeed. One terrible transaction or dropped opportunity, and you don’t get the score. The fantasy points we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game. Every minute, every second.

In this league, we fight for that point. In this league, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us, to pieces for that point. We claw with our fingernails for that point. Because we know. We know when we add up all of those points, that’s going to make the fucking difference between WINNING and LOSING, between the PLAYOFFS and SHAME.

I’ll tell you this. In any fight, it is the guy or surprisingly awesome female who is willing to die who is going to win that point. And I know if I am going to have any life anymore it is because I am always willing to fight and die for that point – because that is what WINNING is: the six imaginary points you left on your bench.

Now I can’t make you do it. You gotta look at the guy in this week's match-up. Look into his eyes. Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go for that point against you. You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for his team. Because he knows when it comes down to it, you are going to do the same thing to him.

That’s a fantasy league, gentlemen. And either we play now, as teams, or we will die as humiliated individuals. That’s fantasy football guys. That’s all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?
 

1 comment:

  1. Nice to see you back, and challenging.

    -MM

    ReplyDelete